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Could you be the next Stephen A Smith or Colin Cowherd?

We’ve heard some stupid things come out of Stephen A Smith’s mouth over the years, this surprisingly was not one of them. While it was quite a douchey flex on Smith’s part, he’s right. You have a 1/1,000,000,000 chance to be born with the genes that made LeBron or Shaq great basketball players. But you can bust your ass and become the next big personality in the sports game. Again while it was a quite a douchey flex as much as it pains me to say it he’s right.

I’m going to spend the rest of the blog taking Smith’s advice and emulating the guy who is about to get $10 million a year from ESPN for being a loud obnoxious asshole.

IF YOU’RE A KID WHO WANTS TO GROW UP AND BE THE NEXT STEPHEN A SMITH YOU HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MIND!! WANTING TO GROW UP AND BE THE NEXT STEPHEN A IN A WORLD OF LEBRON JAMES, STEPH CURRY, TOM BRADY, AND KEVIN DURANT IS LIKE HAVING ASPIRATIONS TO BE THE BOOM MIC GUY AT A PORNO SHOOT INSTEAD OF THE LEAD!!!

LOOKING AT STEPHEN A SMITH AS THE EMBODIMENT OF THE AMERICAN DREAM IS LIKE LOOKING AT BIG SEXY BARTOLO COLON AS THE IDEAL MALE BODY!

YOU’RE TELLING ME THE AMERICAN DREAM IS INTERVIEWING SOMEONE WHO AFTERWARDS IS GOING TO EAT SWORDFISH AT A 5 STAR RESTAURANT WITH A SUPERMODEL OM HIS ARM WHILE YOU GO HOME AND WARM UP A SWANSON’S SALISBURY STEAK AND FIRE UP YOUR IPAD AND SHOOT YOUR KIDS INTO YOUR OLD MENS SLOW PITCH SOFTBALL JERSEY!?

Those three paragraphs were tough to write but I managed. Being able to write that has to net me about six figures from ESPN along with a weekly podcast with Booger McFarland.

For all of my fellow sports bloggers reading this I want to pass along my best wishes and good luck. Follow your dreams to be the next Stephen A Smith and get paid King. But I must warn you to tread carefully so you do not end up failing into Colin Cowherd territory.

Jesus Christ what a fucking loser.

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