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I Have News About Paige Spiranac That Will Shake You To Your Core

I’m not going to bury the lede here. Paige is 5’6”. I just thought she was taller. 

Each week, when I write my roundup on Paige’s social media happenings, I get a slew of new readers who say “wow, this was a waste of my time.” If you think that, that’s fine, but I do it for two reasons. First, I think Paige is one of the most interesting people in golf and I have found that unless you’re glued to social media, you may miss some of her content, so I have found a market gap, if you will, that I have taken advantage of where I compile all of it and provide my own commentary. Some people like it. As long as it continues to grow, it will help fans of Paige stay more engaged, and it also helps me be somewhat relevant in the over-saturated golf media world. Second, if I can write clickbaity headlines that bring you in for Paige, maybe you’ll stick around to read my stuff about life hacks and my thoughts on other golf topics like slow play

Anyway, I do this all the time with celebrities and people I see on the internet, but not actually in person. Just for posterity, I’m 6’1” and I own AirPods. For whatever reason, in my head, I always make the weird, psychological decision to assume that people I see on TV or the internet are much taller than they actually are. I legitimately cannot get it through my head that Tom Cruise is 5’7”. You’re telling me the guy who flies Tomcats and plays beach volleyball in jeans without a shirt on can’t ride some of the roller coasters at Six Flags? Sorry, don’t believe it. This guy is at least 6’4”. Nevermind the logistical nightmare that would be getting into an F-14 cockpit. He’s tall to me and that’s it. I could meet Tom Cruise, watch him get measured by a team of doctors, then rest my elbow on the top of his head and I’d still walk away saying he’s at least 2 meters tall (that’s for all my Euro readers). 

Well the same thing happened with Paige. I don’t know why I thought she was 5’10”. Hell, my wife is actually 5’5”, so I even have a point of comparison here, but I just did. It makes even less sense because I know she was an elite gymnast into her mid-teens, so why would some Gumby-ass body having girl be good on the beam? Short answer is she wouldn’t. So this picture popped up in my instagram stories.

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It’s Paige with two guys who work at Barstool Sports and they are towering over her. They’re leaning over and she’s on her toes, but there’s still a good foot difference between them. If it rains, Paige is finding out about it a good two to three seconds after these dudes. 

You know what the funny thing is, though? Paige posted on instagram asking for people to follow the Augusta National Women’s Amateur account. I saw it minutes after seeing the picture of her clearly not being 5’10” and boom, in my mind, she’s back to being 5’10”. 

There she is. Back to being able to reach things on the top shelf at the grocery store without a problem. The funny part is that she’s actually two inches taller than the average height for an American woman, which is 5’4”. Still, I can’t get it out of my mind. Oh, well. Stay tuned for my full length Paige Spiranac rundown tomorrow. 

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