NCAAB Sports

Predicting how bad Zion’s knee injury could’ve been if he wasn’t wearing Nike’s.

First off let me say that I’m glad Zion Williamson only sprained his knee. A big rivalry game like Duke vs UNC and he was taken out by a faulty shoe. I tweeted that there should be an asterisk next to this victory because if those shoes didn’t explode like a goddamn WMD, Zion would’ve probably hung 50 on those pathetic Tar Heels. Back to the important issue here though. His shoe EXPLODED!!

Excuse my scribble couldn’t find an Austin Powers meme with just the words I wanted on it. And before anyone asks “Chavy, why didn’t you just create custom meme instead?” To those people I say…….I just didn’t feel like it.

People are wondering if Nike has been exposed for having a inferior product in the cutthroat world of sneakers, which is why I’m here to show you what would’ve happened if he was wearing some of Nike’s competitors on his feet launchpads.


I see Adidas as the true #2 behind the Nike and Jordan brand (which would make them technically #3). So I suspect we would’ve seen at worst a bruised knee if Zion was wearing a nice pair of Pro Bounces.

Under Armour:

No injuries for Zion if he was wearing Under Armour, just a lot of coincidences of how he ended up with a missing suit and two dead guys.


Like any reputable athlete would wear Puma!

And yes I did research who is sponsored by Puma and while they have a grasp on soccer, their NBA players would be a 6th seed at best in the Eastern conference.

New Balance:

Unless you’re playing in a local rec league and only lettered one year in high school it’s illegal to wear New Balance shoes and call yourself a pro.

Oooooh yikes, sorry Kawhi I was just goofin. New Balance shoes are the coolest!…………

……is he gone yet? Okay good. I stand by what I said no athlete should wear New Balance shoes.

Big Baller Brand:

Disaster averted! If Zion had been wearing these sorry excuse of a shoe his career would’ve been over immediately. We’re talking wheelchair, prosthetic legs, the works.

Again let’s all be thankful we avoided a disaster last night and will be able to witness greatness in the NBA for many years to come. But since Zion has an $8 million insurance policy (kicking in if he fell to #16 or lower in the draft) let’s not act like we’d be above tearing an ACL to collect the worlds easiest paycheck.


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