Goddammit Seattle, goddammit. Now we have to see “We Dem Boyz!!!” and “How bout dem Cowboys!” across Twitter and hear that shitty Wiz Khalifa song for the next week. A little preview for next weeks playoff predictions, the Cowboys get demolished by the Rams or the Saints. Anyways, today is a new day, a new slate of games, and a new opportunity to go 2-0.
Los Angeles Chargers @ Baltimore Ravens 1:05 ET CBS
Week 2 I was ready to crown the Bengals “Kings of the AFC North” when they beat the Ravens in primetime. Week 13 I was ready to crown the Steelers “Kings of the AFC North”. Fast forward a few weeks and LaMar Jackson helped the Ravens steal the crown as they slid into the playoffs with a win over the Browns in week 17. The Ravens have looked great since starting LaMar Jackson at QB as he’s added a new threat to their offense that the aging Flacco just could never provide. I should be rooting for my AFC North brethren to make it as far as possible (should I go onto Ravens Reddit and wish them good luck?) but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I like that the Chargers are finding some success and as you know I want some new blood in the playoffs. A lot of people are throwing out the time difference for the Chargers as a factor for today’s game as they’ll be kicking off at 10AM local time today, but the truth is it’ll have no bearing on how they play. It’s just like waking up to do some day drinking on game day. It’s a rough start at first but a few beers and jack and cokes later you’re THRIVING and wondering why you don’t drink at this time every weekend instead.
Pick: Chargers are the better team and don’t be surprised if we see LaMar Jackson’s threat on the feet neutralized by Joey Bosa and the stout defense of the Chargers. Chargers win 21-10
P.S. Hey #RavensFlock this isn’t a purge so get rid of the Halloween masks. And whoever runs the social media for the Ravens I didn’t see a single clown mask in this video so F- on the pun game.
Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears 4:40 ET NBC
Bears fans are happy they’re in the playoffs, Eagles fans are glad they sneaked in to the playoffs by the hair on Big Dick Nick’s balls, but we can all agree that we’re happy we are getting a Cris Collinsworth playoff slide in. I have the same feeling about this game as I did for the Texans and Colts yesterday. I don’t want to see either team lose but it has to happen, that’s football guys (that’s a Any Given Sunday reference for those unaware of the greatest speech in sports movie history). Let’s hope for the sake of the fans we get a better game than the Texans put up yesterday though. I think we’ll see a nice back and fourth as BDN works his magic and makes this a close game as he battles the stout defense of Chicago. But ultimately this game is going to come down to if Mitch and the Chicago offense can put up points while Khalil Mack and co put the boots to the Eagles offense. I think they do and we will see Chi-town go crazy as they pickup their first playoff win since 2010 and send the Eagles backpacking back east.
Pick: No repeat Super Bowl for the Eagles here as the Bears win 28-17. I look forward to seeing the fights between both fans of this rapid fanbase on social media after the game. If that’s the case expect Philly to experience two losses in a matter of a few hours as the Chicago fanbase is on their Big Dick Energy and could take down ISIS with their bare hands at this rate.