Let me preface this blog by saying I’m a fan of both ….in moderation. Nothing gets the blood flowing like some high stakes gambling. And nothing gets the blood (literally) flowing like a good lap dance. So this blog will not be shaming anyone for enjoying either, it’s 2019 it’s the year of no shaming.
I may be a little bias on which side of the argument I fall on here because I’m currently being drove home from the casino half buzzed, with no cash left,and my dick in my hand. But did I have fun for the 35 minutes I was there?
I was living the lowest of lows when I lost half of my money (only $80 papa bear can’t be spending too much when he’s saving for a house) and I was living highest of highs when I doubled my money, and I was back to square 1 when I lost my last bit of cheddar on a fucking shitty hand. If you don’t hit on a 13 when the dealer is showing a race card you’re an idiot. Even if you walk away with a W when the dealer busts you feel like you’ve taken some dirty money.
But I’m digressing from the argument here. Strip clubs and casinos are basically the same place. I walk into both with a wad of cash I have ZERO intention of walking out of there with, and I’ll leave sexually frustrated away from both. At both facilities you have people (dealers or dancers) trying to sweet talk you into spending your money on them, and when you’re almost out or on the wrong side of a hot streak they grab your hand, burp you and tell you everything is going to be alright. Well here’s some advice for anyone who hasn’t gone to either in their life yet (I’m assuming you’re either 17 or 20) DON’T fucking go!!!
They both will see your night ending in the red and having you saying “I could’ve did better or closed if I had some more time and money.” Hey dipshit they play suckers like you every night. You have the dealer telling you after their 4th 20 hand telling you “Sorry I don’t know what’s happening” or the stripper “I think you’re cute!” Both know what they’re doing here and while I respect the hustle I’m not a fan of it.
So in conclusion both are equally bad to go to and avoid both. If you have the urge to ever gamble download the blackjack app on your phone where you can “gamble” for free, or just go to Pornhub and tug one out. Because even if you think you “won” in either situation, you didn’t.
Having said all this I look forward to ignoring this advice next month and getting shitfaced in San Diego and going to both a casino and a strip club!