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It’s official the Bengals suck

It’s Sunday it’s the Lord’s Day and as a born and bread Catholic so I’ll refrain from typing out his name in vein today……..holy fucking shit the Bengals are a joke. After what was a normal start to the season Marvin Lewis has torpedoed this team so far into the ground that you’d think he’s drilling for oil. Losing the last 4 out of 5 (very close to losing all 5) and now we’re on the outside looking in for the playoffs.

I pray this team doesn’t make it to the playoffs this year. Call me a fair weather fan, but I like to think of myself as a realist. Could the Bengals pull off a redemption story for the ages and win the Super Bowl? Maybe. If they did I’d be the first person to admit I was wrong, but it’s not going to happen. Slow starts, no sense of urgency, and the classic Bengals blunders are going to keep the Bengals from breaking through that glass ceiling and planting their flag as serious contenders in the AFC.

Part of me just wants them to secure top draft picks via tanking. I can only watch so many close Bengals games where they lose via shenanigans for so long before I just stop caring. I don’t want to get to that point so if we lost with a purpose I’d at least feel like it’s not all for nothing.

Also if the Bengals keep losing maybe just maybe Marvin Lewis would finally get his walking papers. If the Bengals do decide to fire Lewis at any point this season I pray that it’s a package deal and they send Hue Jackson with him. Nothing would be more classic Bengals though than finally pulling the trigger on firing Lewis only to promote Hue Jackson to head coach.

I want the record to show that if this does happen I will not only give up on the Bengals, but I might just retire from sports in general. This would give me so much PTSD I don’t think I could look at any form of competition and not get triggered.

Am I being too much of a downer? Probably. I mean at least Andy Dalton’s ankle bone isn’t sticking out of his leg.

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About Chavy

Co-Founder of Nosebleed Takes I write, I podcast, & Editor-In-Chief I do it all.

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