— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) November 13, 2018
I may blog I may not blog, but one thing will stay the same Bunguls gonna Bunguls.
First the Bengals tried putting a band-aid on a gaping wound by firing defensive coordinator Teryl Austin after an embarrassing 51-14 showing against the New Orleans Saints on Sunday. Deciding the band-aid wasn’t the right call Marvin Lewis decided to just cut off the limb and take over play calling for the defense. The bringing back of Hue Jackson in any capacity is like treating a simple cold with a shot of potassium chloride. This type of malpractice is the Bengals MO though which has me considering switching Primary Care Physicians (sup LA?). Okay enough medical jargin (I like to flex my 3 years of
medical, nursing, time spent trying to get into nursing school).
This has been a horrible 48 hours to be a Bengals fan. I’m sitting here wondering what could they do to top Marvin Lewis taking over defensive play calling duties and to the surprise of absolutely nobody they found a way to do it. Bringing back Hue Jackson in any capacity is like getting back with your ex. Sure the “hey how are you?” goes smooth and you catch up, but fast forward to week 11 and you’re already sleeping on opposite sides of the bed and arguing about whether to watch a Chopped rerun or a week old DVR’d Magnum P.I. Hue has literally made himself the joke of the NFL since he was
fired as head coach of the Cleveland on October 29th of this year hired as the coach of the Cleveland Browns back in January of 2016. I’d have to dedicate an entire blog to just how much damage Hue was to the Browns in his short time as head coach, but I’ll let his 3-36-1 record speak for himself.
Hue should not be anywhere near the Bengals sidelines this season, he’s simply not ready to coach in any capacity yet. Oh am I being too much of a Andy Asshole for your liking? Keep reading the blog I promise it gets a little more optimistic.
Okay here’s the positive spin on Hue Jackson returning to the Bengals. Yes, I don’t want him around the Bengals this season I think he’s damaged goods at this point. Combining two idiots brains does not result in a super smart offspring (I should know my dad’s textbook wrestler’s frame and my mom’s fluency in spainish resulted in a scrawny soccer player who learned 3/4 of his spainish from Narcos). I do think if Hue takes the rest of the season to recharge the batteries and comes back next season to help the Bengals on the offensive side of the ball he could be a great asset. I mean the guy made Andy Dalton look like an MVP candidate and if it hadn’t been for a thumb injury we could’ve seen that offense lead the Bengals to a
Super Bowl first playoff win.
But staying true to himself Marvin is going to rush this, bring Hue in and it’s going to take the heat off of Jon Gruden as it becomes the butt of every joke making the rounds in sports media.
Don’t think I am actively rooting for this to fail. Nothing would make me happier than to be wrong about this though. I don’t like being a miserable Bengals fan, it’s not great for my health and it’s the negativity is seeping into other parts of my personal life. So for the sake of my health, social life, I want this move to work out. I’m tired of the weekly mood swings that can perfectly summed up in one GIF.