New thing we’re doing here at Nosebleed Takes, instead of 3 or so individual blogs with our NFL picks we are making one weekly blog out of it. So consider this your one stop shop for every blogger’s (at least the ones who email me back) picks.
(Editor’s note: Trevor requests you read his picks in a Chris Berman voice. Sylvan was a man of few words. The Dynasty Football Guy picks are by the book, the Vegas book so parlay all his picks to win BIG!)
Thursday Night Football
Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots 8:20 Kickoff
Chavy: After what can only be described as one of the worst 4th down passes I’ve ever seen last week Andrew Luck and the Colts look to rebound from a tough OT loss to the Houston Texans. Unfortunately they play the Patriots who will get a boost from returning WR Julian Edelman as they castrate the Colts.
Trevor: Andrew Luck’s Luck will run out, Sony Playstation Michel scampers all over Indy 35-10.
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Colts +10
Tennessee Titans @ Buffalo Bills 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: The Titans looked great and showed some huge balls in their OT win over the Eagles last week. The Bills looked like well……the Bills. Hammer the Titans.
Trevor: Josh Allen is Tall, but not tall enough. Titans Tower over the bills 24-13.
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Titans -3
Miami Dolphins @ Cincinnati Bengals 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: You really think I’d pick against the KINGS of the AFC North?! C’mon
Trevor: Kenny Stilly banana no filly flies into Cincy and scores many times. 27-20
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Bengals -7
Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: Baltimore is 2-1 in the AFC North so far this year looking just meh in each outing. The Browns are on the up and expect Baker to have a solid game. Also not having refs trying to get Gruden his first win of the year will play into the Browns favor. Baker cooks the Ravens.
Trevor: The Ravens Flock gets shit on by Baker and the Browns 24-21
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Ravens -3
Green Bay Packers @ Detroit Lions 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: Aaron Rodgers is pissed off at the Packers coaching staff. Pissed off Aaron Rodgers is a scary man to play against. Packers over the Lions.
Trevor: Lions are lying to themselves if they think they can win this one. Packers stuff in to Detroit 27-20 Packers.
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Packers Even
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Kansas City Chiefs 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: I’m rocking a semi at the thought of Tyreke Hill putting Jalen Ramsey on skates all afternoon. Chiefs by 20.
Trevor: Patrick Leviticus Mahomes escapes Sacksonville with his life. Chiefs 30-27
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Jaguars +3
Denver Broncos @ New York Jets 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: Jets still suck. Broncos by however many points they want.
Trevor: J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS crash and burn at the hands of Case Knives Keenum. 24-21
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Broncos Even
Atlanta Falcons @ Pittsburgh Steelers 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: The Falcons will be looking to get some revenge on the AFC North after a heartbreaking loss to the Bengals. The Steelers are the perfect team for them to exact some revenge on. Falcons by 13
Trevor: Calvin Slide Ridley Torches the tornado Steelers team with 3 TDS. 48-38
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Falcons +3
New York Giants @ Carolina Panthers 1:00 Kickoff
Chavy: I only care about Saquan’s numbers in this game. Panthers win easily.
Trevor: Scam Newton steals the Giants laptop and and the game. 31-30.
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Panthers -7.5
Oakland Raiders @ Los Angeles Chargers 4:25 Kickoff
Chavy: I’ve soured on the Raiders after they were GIFTED that win over Cleveland last week. Karma comes this week in the form of the Chargers.
Trevor: Chargers charge the credit card over the limit to raid Oakland. 38-20
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Raiders + 5.5
Minnesota Vikings @ Philadelphia Eagles 4:25 Kickoff
Chavy: The Eagles are one loss away from hitting the panic button. They’ll move a little further from that button this week as they beat the Vikings.
Trevor: ALL HAIL THE VIKINGS. The Endangered Eagles Species will become extinct this week. Vikings 21-14
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Eagles -3
Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers 4:25 Kickoff
Chavy: (Flips a coin) 49ers win
Trevor: Josh The Chosen Rosen gets his first win leading the Birds to the promise land 17-13
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Cardinals + 4.5
Los Angeles Rams @ Seattle Seahawks 4:25 Kickoff
Chavy: RIP Legion of Boom Seattle coming off an Earl Thomas injury and a close win over the Cardinals says all you need to know about this team. Rams stay hot and clip the Seahawks.
Trevor: Seahawks get the battering ram treatment as Todd Not a girl Gurley bashes through the door like an ICE Raid. 30-7
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Rams -7.5
Dallas Cowboys @ Houston Texans 8:20 kickoff
Chavy: With DeShaun Watson being my fantasy QB1 I almost have to root for the Texans. The fact I hate the Cowboys means I’ll definitely be rooting for Houston. Texans > Cowboys
Trevor: YEEHAW Ride em cowboy. Texans Mount Jerry Jones and ride into the sunset. Texans 21-10
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Cowboys -3
Monday Night Football dun dun dun
Washington Redskins @ New Orleans Saints 8:15 kickoff
Chavy: The Saints will get back to lighting up the scoreboard this week and Alex Smith will have an Alex Smith game. Saints by 21.
Trevor: Drew Windy Brees breaks the record and skins Washington like a potato. 48-27
The Dynasty Tailgate Guy: Saints -7