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Andrew Bynum preparing for comeback, NBA you’ve been warned

 

If everyone thought Nike had a problem on their hands, wait until Andrew Bynum is standing at center court  getting ready for a jump-ball. Barbers and hairstylists everywhere will be packing up their clippers and buzzers and tune into to the WNBA if Bynum is signed by a team before the season.

While I’m we’re on the WNBA topic the Seattle Storm are up 2-0 on the Washington Mystic in the Finals. Can Elena Delle Donne and the Mystic come back and win? Odds-makers don’t even have the line out for Wednesday’s game 3, so this is your chance to pull a fast one on the bookies and hammer down on Washington taking game 3! EASY MONEY RIGHT HERE LADIES AND GENTS!

I digress back to the point at hand, Andrew Bynum is only 30 years old and is planning a comeback, 30 YEARS OLD! When you think of an athlete making a comeback your first thought is an old guy like Brett Favre or Rafael Palmeiro, not a 30 year old big man who’s hair seems to have had gone through 3 mid-life crisis in the span of a few years.

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WHAT THE FUCK DID ANDREW BYNUM DO FOR HIS BARBER TO CONTINUALLY FUCK UP HIS HAIR AGAIN AND AGAIN?! Did he fuck his wife? Did he blow a spread and lose him thousands? Whatever he did must’ve been bad enough to warrant such hairstyles.

I think Bynum should come back but as an adviser. What would he advise you’re wondering? he’d be a walking PSA for how NOT to wear your hair in the NBA.

It’s an reoccurring issue that needs to be neutered soon. I’m all for freedom of expression but we as sports commenters need to quit the roasting and lend a helping hand to those in need.

Jeremy Lin

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Instead of taking the low hanging fruit and telling Jeremy Lin “hey Travis Barker you lost? The Blink concert is down the road!” (I’m sorry I had something better but it slipped out of my brain before I could type it out).

Elfrid Payton

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Again instead of roasting Mr. Payton by saying “his hair looks like Gerald’s from Hey Arnold if it had ED” we need to let him know that we like him for what’s on the inside and not on top of his head.

This is where Bynum comes into play he rolls with players to the barbershop and whatever he suggests the barber does the polar opposite.

So let me be the first to sign the petition to bring Bynum back to the NBA!

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About Chavy

Co-Founder of Nosebleed Takes I write, I podcast, & Editor-In-Chief I do it all.

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