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Trevor’s NFL Week 1 Picks: IDIOT EDITION

I am not really a gambling man because I am a poor poor fellow, but when the big man forces me yells at me  says pick the games you pick the freaking games. The only thing I can advise to any buffoon who happens to come across this blog is to pick the absolute opposite of the picks below and you will do just fine friends. NOW LET US GET TO THE NFL SEASON MY COMRADES!

Atlanta Falcons (-115) vs Philadelphia Eagles (-105)

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I hate that I have to watch this game. I think Matt Ryan is overrated just like What-a-Burger, yeah I said it! Anyways, I think BDN Foles will lead the Eagles to victory by a slight margin of 3 pointeroos.

Prediction: Eagles but what do I know?

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Cincinnati Bengals (+120) vs Indianapolis Colts (-140)

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Is Andrew Luck back? Nope! Bengals by 12.

Prediction: Bengals if you aren’t dumb

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Buffalo Bills (+270) vs Baltimore Ravens (-340)

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THE BILLS ARE STARTING NATHAN PETERMAN AND THE RAVENS ARE STARTING MR. ELITE, JOE FLACCO. EASY PICK. RAVENS BY 35! I hope Lamar gets a chance in this blowout of a game.

Prediction: Ravens by plenty

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Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+340) vs New Orleans Saints (-480)

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BUCS SUCK. SAINTS ARE GOOD. DREW BREES IS STILL ALIVE. FITZPATRICK WENT TO HARVARD WHILE JAMEIS STOLE CRAB LEGS. BREES V. FITZPATRICK? BREES. SAINTS. 41-12

Prediction: Saints by as many as they desire

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Houston Texans (+220) vs New England Patriots (-260)

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JJ Watt is overrated. Tom Brady is the GOAT. I have Tom and Houston D on my fantasy team so I will pay close attention to this one. I am starting Tom and sitting Houston D. Lets go Tom Cat!

Prediction: Patriots by 10

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San Francisco 49ers (+225) vs Minnesota Vikings (-265)

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I love me some Kirk Cousins man. You seen that spiral? Bot oh boy. Dalvin Cook is back. Jimmy G is still unproven on the field and off (I’ve seen better). SKOL SKOL SKOL

Prediction: Vikings by 14

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Tennessee Titans (-125) vs Miami Dolphins (+105)

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All of my friends are Titans fans so this one is a little bias. Dolphins by 20. Titans by 13. Derrick Henry is gonna turn back to clock to college and carry the ball 40+ times a game and I do indeed like that. Titan Up.

Prediction: Titans:)

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Jacksonville Jaguars (-165) vs New York Giants (+145)

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JAGGIN OFF. BLAKE BORTLES IS THE GOAT!!!!!!

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Giants by 3

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Prediction: Giants, Odell v. Ramsey. Odell wins.

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Pittsburgh Steelers (-210) vs Cleveland Browns (+175)

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CLEVELAND…….THIS ONE’S FOR YOU! Too much drama in Pittsburgh to focus. Cleveland will shock the world let’s go!

Prediction: Browns by 10

Kansas City Chiefs (+160) vs Los Angeles Chargers (-180)

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I’m a huge Patrick Mahomes guy. I would bet my house on the Chiefs. Lock it in fellas.

Prediction: Chiefs by 14!

Dallas Cowboys (+130) vs Carolina Panthers (-150)

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SCAM NEWTON IS OVERRATED. I’LL SAY IT! LETS EAT ZEKE!

Prediction: Cowboys win by a few or a lot

Washington Redskins (EVEN) vs Arizona Cardinals (-120)

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The Cardinals are my chosen team to root for therefore they will when this game and every other game in the near future.

Prediction: Arizona 🙂

Seattle Seahawks (+130) vs Denver Broncos (-150)

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Russell Wilson > Case Keenum

Prediction: Seahawks by 4

Chicago Bears (+265) vs Green Bay Packers (-330)

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DAAAAAAAAAA BEARS

Lose.

Prediction: Packers by 21

New York Jets (+235) vs Detroit Lions (-275)

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Stafford will toss the pig 400 yards 4 TD. Win for the lions

Prediction: Lions by 12

Los Angeles Rams (-210) vs Oakland Raiders (+175)

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Hey Gruden

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Cooper Kupp 2 TD’s

Prediction: Rams by 20

Dear Reader:

Yeah I know I rushed it. Sorry I am a busy human. Fade these picks if you want money.

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