Everyone is tweeting about Hard Knocks this year and I’m sitting here having not watched a single episode. I’ve watched previous seasons of Hard Knocks and enjoyed it, but I feel like the concept is wearing thin.
Formula for Hard Knocks:
- Focus on the first round rookie.
- Focus on an underdog player who is working his tail off to avoid getting cut.
- Profanity laced coaches meetings.
- Awkward off the field encounters.
- Throw in a zany, wacky line coach or RB coach or O-lineman
- Watch awkwardly as players are cut.
- Rinse & Repeat
I’ve prepared 2 new potential spin-offs for the NFL to produce in 2019 that will
change revolutionize the way we intake our NFL offseason content. Why only 2?
1. A compilation of what goes on during media timeouts during games
If you’re like me you wonder what goes on during those media timeouts. Now this question was answered for me 2 years ago when I went to my first NFL game and saw firsthand what exactly goes down. But for those who have never had the pleasure of paying $50 for parking, paying for overpriced food, and being an arm’s length away from getting an unsolicited handy at the piss trough you’re probably still in the dark as to what goes on. Fear no more as we will have the folks at NFL Films splice together twelve 30 minute episodes of the what goes on during media timeouts.
Could you see coaches cursing out players?
Could you see “Kiss Cams” and shitty proposals?
Could you see…..well you get the idea (and I don’t want to give the whole synopsis for the first episode away).
2. Last Chance U….but it’s for Refs
This is more or less a spin-off from the acclaimed Netflix show where we see former college stars on a redemption tour trying to earn an opportunity at glory again. Remember the refs who made some of the worst calls in NFL history? If not let’s take a trip down memory lane.
If only we had an NFL version of Tim Donaghy to bring onto the show to be the wild card of sorts. Imagine everyone there is itching and clawing their way to don the zebra stripes and stand on the sidelines and then you have this point shaving fuck who is just there to be the shit stirrer. Every show needs a villain (New York on Flavor of Love, CT on The Challenge, Penicillin on the Jersey Shore). Having said that I think the show could still survive because I have an ace up my sleeve. The “coach” for these refs would be none other than Ed Hochuli. Hochuli would be their mentor as these refs would work JUCO football games and live in the same house together. So imagine Real World meets Last Chance U. The memes this show would create would knock that fucking “hut gut” guy back into the dial-up days.
So there’s just two of my ideas (I can’t give them all away for free) for the NFL to branch out past the Hard Knocks brand. Could I be back with my other ideas later down the road? Depends on how much “thought fuel” aka beer I have this weekend.