Don’t be the douche in your Fantasy League this year

Every year you’ll have “that guy”  where you’re wondering why you invited them into your league. If you’re wondering if you are “that guy” in your league I’m here to salvage your strained relationship with your fellow owners. If you’re not then let this serve as a quick refresher on things NOT to do in your league to avoid your fellow owners wanting to gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you.

1) NEVER EVER Autodraft

Autodrafting is the Cardinal Sin in Fantasy Football, you’re basically face fucking the league by autodrafting. The date has been set for months, you had plenty of time to plan ahead, don’t autodraft. If something comes up or an emergency happens your friends will understand, but outright autodrafting just because is #1 douche move in a league.

2) Set your lineup every week

Let’s start with an obvious one here, set your fucking lineup every week.  It takes two minutes to do on Thursday afternoon and Sunday morning. Don’t use the “I forgot” excuse either, as I said it takes two minutes to do! If you can’t find the time to set a lineup why even join? If you fall into this category of Fantasy football owners I bet you have a year long gym membership that you haven’t used since the first week as well.

3) Shit talking IS encouraged but don’t overdo it

Look I like to talk shit as much as the next guy, but there’s lines that are drawn in the sand and best not to cross it. Keep trash talk semi mean but fun, moms (alive) are fair play, but children are off limits while wives are a bit of a grey area. But every league needs a bad guy.


Some relish in this role whether it’s the obvious asshole you’d expect, or the quiet friend who you didn’t think was capable of such shit talking. This is only a rule for leagues where you play with friends and family, if you’re in a rando league with strangers go for the killshot every chance you get. I mean that’s how the internet works right?


Nobody likes a bum. When the league money is due pay it then or before the season is over. If you expect to win the pot without paying I have some beach side property I’d like sell you in Ohio. Don’t make the commissioner’s job harder than it already is Venmo, Apple Pay, a half and half, or cash just get it to them before the season’s over.

Avoid these 4 situations in your league and you’ll have a pleasure filled season, break any of these rules and be ready for a day of reckoning from your fellow owners….or most likely just get kicked out at the end of the season.

Any other rules you should follow to avoid being “that guy” in your league? Comment below.

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