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Chavy's Thoughts

Chavy’s Friday Thoughts: Thursday Edition

A Friday blog on a Thursday?!!!

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Yes you’re reading my Friday blog on a Thursday and you probably have a million  hundred few questions right now.

  1. Is this guy an idiot? Answer: Plead the fifth.
  2. What will I do on Friday with no Chavy’s Thoughts blog? Answer: Be more productive at work.  Maybe shoot your shot with the girl who constantly likes your Instagram pics?

Anyways, I’m writing this on a Thursday because today is my Friday. I’m taking a 3 day weekend trip to Atlantic City and Philadelphia for my fantasy football draft, and of course some drunken debauchery (I’ll let you decide which one I’m more excited for). Truth be told I’m not even remotely prepared for this trip, I’ve done little to no fantasy football research this year and my drinking habits have been sub par at best since I was taken off the leash last month.

But going in unprepared is my MO, I am a big winging it kind of person. I don’t think it’s a matter of me liking to be unprepared but more that I flourish in being “off the cuff”. It started when I had to give speeches in high school and I would semi prepare with bullet points but never use a script of any kind, (humble brag incoming) I used to knock these speeches out of the park and get a solid A. Now this isn’t to say my off the cuff mentality has always paid off, I’ve torpedoed quicker than the Challenger on some dates coming in unprepared. I met a Tinder date at the mall with no plan in place of dinner or drinks, we spent an hour walking around the mall like a goddamn middle school couple (including the awkward silences and walking 4 feet away from each other). The conversation was flat, we literally circled the entire mall 4 times not going into a single store, then finally I told her I had to go because this was just too awkward. I haven’t met a Tinder girl since and honestly probably won’t go on another Tinder date again. I’m not against it but at this point Tinder for me is a chance to crack out some dad jokes, and hopefully end up immortalized on Reddit someday.

One thing I couldn’t prepare for even if I tried is flying, I have a huge fear of heights. My fear doesn’t stem from a traumatic event from my childhood or anything, I just like having my feet on the earths surface at all times. I flew two years ago to Fort  Lauderdale Florida and it was a roller coaster of emotions. First I had a drink at the airport bar at 8:30AM to calm the nerves, then after boarding I listened to Angel of the Morning on repeat until we were in the air. Irrational coping to deal with my fear of heights? Maybe, but Juice Newton’s pipes settled my nerves and got rid of my fear boner, so I’m running it back for my flight tomorrow. Last time I flew I had the luxury of flying Delta, TV’s in the headrests, ample leg room, the whole nine yards. Tomorrow I won’t be as lucky as we are flying Spirit “The Dane Cook or Larry The Cable Guy of aviation”. This was not my call, it was just the one that made sense for everybody getting into Philly at around the same time. I’ve heard Spirit is not as bad as people make it out to be, but on the flip side I haven’t heard glowing reviews about it. When you ask someone about Spirit and you’re told “It’s not bad, it gets you from point A to point B” that’s not a very reassuring response. This makes me think that Spirit may be the Four Loko’s of air travel, yeah it’ll get you drunk but it’s going to be a hell of a ride from sober to piss your pants blackout drunk. Expect a full review of Spirit Airlines on my Instagram Story @tshafer26.

Some predictions for the trip this weekend?

1) There will be puke.

There are 5 of us going on this trip and we will have a “puke pool” where we bet money on who will puke each night. This will either end one of two ways.

2) I’ll win big at the Blackjack table…only to give it all back in a matter of seconds.

I’ve been known to gamble at my best when I’ve had a few drinks…..I’ve also been known to make some absolutely MORONIC decisions at the table while drunk. It’s a live by the sword die by the sword scenario every time I play. Two perfect examples of this are when I was drunk as shit and won $1200 after only coming in with $50, on the flip side I was up $1100 on $25 and lost it all in 5 hands. So which one will show up on Friday night? For the blog I’m hoping it’s the latter, my bank account would prefer to get a little PED boost though.

3) Some big time Shenanigans will ensue

This a group of friends that if we’re lucky can all be in the same room about once or thrice a year tops. So you tell me if that’s a recipe for some shenanigans. Now before you write us off as the douchey Brads or Chads of the world know this…..

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We like to have fun and most of our shenanigans come at our own expense, or if you ask our friends mostly myself and @sylvan13.

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Okay I’ll stop saying the S word.

Anyways, enjoy your Friday in the cubes, factory, job site, or wherever you work. I’ll be drinking, sightseeing, and gambling my savings away while you’re sitting anxiously waiting for the clock to hit 3PM.

P.S. If you’re reading this on Friday congrats!! You’re so close to that much needed and earned IPA or glass of wine. Stay safe and stay weird!

P.P.S. I only need 3 more words to hit over a 1000 words. Got it!

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