We did it!!!!!
Only a few more hours stand between you and your alcohol of choice (I’ll be drinking $1 beers at my local bar tonight). So I’m back here to help those last few hours fly on by with a recap of my week in Chavy’s Thoughts Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Not much to report out of here this week……EXCEPT THE SCAMS ARE REAL PEOPLE, SWIPER BEWARE!! I had matched with a girl who had a riddle as her bio and it said at the end “message me on Instagram once you solve it.” Should I have messaged her? Probably not, but I knew I’d get a great story for the blog if I did it so fuck it. I messaged her waited for a day fully expecting it to be spam and not my tinderalla, I wasn’t too concerned if this horse went to the glue factory. Finally I get a response and it’s awkward small talk and what not, could this actually not be spam? Yes and no, apparently she was a cam girl who was looking to get people to sign up for her show and give her a good rating. You couldn’t just make an account either, they needed your credit card info and a payment of I didn’t care to find out. I kept the conversation going though just to see what would happen. When it was apparent to her I was a tough sell she started dropping the “hun” and “babe” lines on me.
Big swing and a miss on her part. I don’t want to say I’m not a big pet names guy, but I’m not a big pets names guy. So after I sarcastically said the pet names back to her I think she knew the jig was up. She tried sending me a photo to prove she was real and it had the photo-shopping quality of my custom headers on my blogs (yes I know my photo shop skills are mediocre at best, self awareness is key). So I tabled the turns and she had enough if it at that point and blew me off (not like that). Before I move on from this I have a question. She wanted me to pay to give her a 5 star rating on her site which would’ve cost $2. In exchange for the $2 rating she was willing to meet up for “whatever.” Now I’m no legal expert, but isn’t that illegal? If the elderly lady down the road asked me to mow her lawn and I did it for free and ate the $2 for gas, then afterwards she tries to suck my dick. Sounds gross and illegal and for that reason.
So what’s the 7 day forecast for Tinder? 100% chance of disappointment.
Before leagues mood:
6th hole feeling:
We sucked less this week, drinking and playing takes the edge off and helps cope with another L. Hit my first birdie of the year though so you can imagine I was in the celebrating mood, maybe a bit too much in the mood for a Wednesday night. I proceeded to keep drinking and go down the rabbit hole of late 90’s early 00’s rock videos. Gorillaz Clint Eastwood and Blink 182’s First Date are the GOAT videos of that era, with Bloodhound Gang’s The Bad Touch rounding out the top 3. This lead to a solid hangover for Thursday morning, anyone who thinks the Sunday Scaries are bad try a Thursday morning scary when you have 10 hours until you can fully recover, or in my case on Thursday’s double down….
L’s all around for my teams this week, and I’ll carry all the blame on my shoulders. 4 errors in CF is not an ideal game for anyone, I learned poking at a ball as it’s coming in will result in a drop 99.999% of the time. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of describing how bad I was in the outfield I’ll let the pros handle this.
So yeah, I think a few practices with the local little league team is in my future, although it may be a hard sell to parents and coaches. Outside looking in I can see why, but I’m just a guy who needs to improve the outfield play.
What’s the play for this weekend? I’m glad you asked.
Just kidding, $1 beers tonight and arcade bar tomorrow, what helps me from labeling myself as an alcoholic is that I’m doing research to start my own Bar Rescue show.
Stay safe avoid the scaries and have a weird weekend!