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KAWHI TO THE RAPTORS AND DEROZAN TO THE SPURS! BUT WHY???

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Nobody was ready for the Woj bomb @ 4:30AM this morning, as he sent NBA Twitter into a late night (or early morning?) frenzy. I’m spat out my coffee I wasn’t even drinking when I was scrolling through Twitter and saw this.

It would seem the Raptors are trying to not only be the most un-clutch team in the NBA, but also the dumbest. It has been made very clear Kawhi doesn’t want to play anywhere besides Los Angeles, and it’s pretty clear DeRozan wants to keep playing in Toronto, so why this seems like a good trade is beyond me. There was a reason nobody was rolling the dice on Kawhi, because the Spurs wanted a fucking star player in exchange for  loaning out Kawhi for a year! This kind of thinking makes me think the neighbors up north in the Toronto front office have never watched an episode of Dragon’s Den, or Shark Tank to see how fellow Canadians do business.

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After the 2015-2016 season when DeRozan was a free agent he met with only one team in free agency, yup you guessed it the Toronto Raptors. Imagine, you could go to a shit team like the Kings or the Magic and get thrown stupid fuck you money your way and coast the rest of your career, and you decide you want to not only stay with stay with your team but play tee-ball with them in negotiations to show your loyalty. Long term you would think this plays well into DeRozan’s favor when it would come to a super max deal, or letting him help decide who to bring in player wise to bolster the roster..NOPE!! Pornographers wish they could film their Magnum Opus with the kind of fucking going on here. Oh and DeRozan is taking it all in stride…..

 

Now onto the Spurs and Kawhi. If you’ve paid attention to this site lately (I’d like to think so) you’d know I’ve written a few stories about Kawhi and the Spurs soap opera. Part of me is happy this saga is finally over, while the other half is left disappointed and confused, much like when I left the movie theater after watching Skyscraper. I figured the end game would be they’d get no nibbles on the pyrite, and Kawhi would sit out the season waiting to become an unrestricted free agent. Sure, we all thought that maybe someone would entice the Spurs with a few young players, and draft picks sometime towards the trade deadline to put Kawhi out of his misery, but even the Spurs have to be shocked somebody actually offered this kind of trade. This is like in fantasy football, you try and try to make a trade with the other 8 owners in your league to no avail, and then the 9th guy some bozo, a real loser, actually agrees to your shitty trade. You sit there with the sweet smell of victory oozing from your pores, but you feel a little guilt, like you won’t be able to enjoy this W. But the Spurs should not feel that way, take DeRozan and shoot for the 2nd seed in the West!

As for the Raptors fans and players there’s one last ditch plan you can use to try and stop this trade.

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No, no, no, you’re going to have to pull out the big guns.

BAH GAWD THAT’S IN MY FEELINGS PLAYING!!!!

 

UPDATE: It didn’t work….

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