Way too early predictions: MLB playoffs

I’m going to be a straight shooter with you guys, I haven’t watched a lot of baseball this year. Not until the Reds hit a hot streak as of late have I tuned into a game and watched all 9 innings. Something about circling the calendar 162 times a year to watch a game doesn’t move the needle for me, but playoff baseball count me the fuck in. I’ll tune in for playoff baseball regardless of who’s playing because I love the high stakes it entails (my love of high stakes also leads me to the blackjack table where I lose 99.9% of the time.) It’s win or go home, unlike the 162 games in the regular season you know each game we will see dirty slides into home plate, grit, and a few fights. No days off or taking it easy in the playoffs it’s keeping your foot down on the pedal to prove your alphaness. So with my love of playoff baseball and with about 80 or so games left this year, now is the perfect time for the patented Nosebleed Takes “way too early predictions.” If after all I just said if you’re looking for a statistical breakdown with tons of sabremetrics, look elsewhere.

Divisional Winners

AL East: The AL East is basically a pissing contest between the Yankees and Red Sox.

It’s a tough call here with Boston up only 1 game in the standings, but since I despise the New York Yankees and their enormous bankroll I’m going with the Red Sox to take the AL East. As for the Rays, Blue Jays, and Orioles, better luck next year.

AL Central: The Cleveland Indians have an 11.5 game lead ahead of the 2nd place Detroit Tigers. Cleveland may somehow  lose this commanding lead, after all they did manage to lose LeBron James, so let’s not rule anything out. If you have some spare money lying around in the house funds, college funds, or honeymoon funds go ahead and lay it down on the Tigers winning the central. If you win just think of how your house could be on MTV Cribs, your kid could get into an Ivy league school, or you could take your wife to France and see the Eiffel Tower like she’s always begged you to do (where you find out she wasn’t talking about the site in France but something entirely different.

AL West: This one is tough, on one hand I love the Astros pulling it all together after being a joke in the NL Central, but the Mariners haven’t clinched the division since Ichiro won rookie of the year in 2001. I’m going with the West having another Cinderella story this year and the Mariners slip on the glass slipper and win the division.

NL East: Yikes, this division is quite the downgrade from the the American League. The Braves are sitting in the driver’s seat with a measly 1 game lead over the Phillies, and 7 games ahead of the Nationals. If I’m an Atlanta fan I’m shook right now, if I’m a Mets or Marlins fan I’m thinking it’s time to find a new team. I’ll say the Nationals put it all together after trading for a pitcher (who’s not Matt Harvey because he is our’s goddammit.) So if you’re a Braves fan, pray the Phillies fall into a downwards spiral because Washington is on a hot streak as a city right now and can’t be stopped.

NL Central: The Reds hitting a hot streak is the sole reason I am writing this blog, so of course I’m picking them to win the division! Only a mere 13.5 games back, the Reds are lubed up and ready to slide into the annals of history. If I had to take my rally cap off and give a real prediction, I’m going to go with the Chicago Cubs as I hate Ryan Braun and the Cardinals.

NL West: Right now the Padres are the Chris Traeger of the NL West.


With the Diamondbacks barely holding a lead over the Dodgers, Giants, and Rockies, it really is anybody’s division at this point. This is the type of story line that would make me tune into every game if I am a fan of one of these 4 teams, forget dinner dates, and vacations, I’m locked in on the TV every game until September 30th. So having said that I’m going to say the fans are the real winners here, so go ahead tip your cap to yourselves, as these last 80 or so games are going to be a roller coaster of emotions for you guys. Go ahead tip the cap, you earned it.



AL Wild Card Game: Yankees vs Astros with Astros winning 6-1 NEXT!

NL Wild Card Game: Giants vs Brewers with the Giants winning, because why not? The Giants seem to win when it counts and regardless of their record are always a dangerous team.

The rest of the playoffs happen….


World Series time!

I’m taking the Red……Sox over the Giants in 6 games. And the city of Boston goes crazy, blaring Tessie (great song) on repeat as the Dropkick Murphy’s release another album to ride the coattails of the Red Sox success, and I’m perfectly okay with that.

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