FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU!
Leave it to the Warriors to steal the spotlight off of Hollywood LeBron with a big fuck you to the rest of the NBA, signing Boogie Cousins to a 1 year 5.3 MILLION DOLLAR deal. What in the actual fuck? I thought I’d have the next few days off to celebrate the greatest holiday in the world, but the Warriors decided to throw a few clicks my way in a show of good faith. I can’t stress enough I fucking despise this move, but goddammit I respect it. I guess we should probably cancel the NBA season, because nobody and I mean nobody is stopping this team. Not the MONSTARS, not Air Bud, and definitely not Uncle Drew and co.
Seriously cancel this season nobody, is stopping this team. If you’re a Warriors fan I hate you, if you’re anti-Warriors lets drown our sorrows in some Fat Tire. This is going to be a long season, especially knowing that my beloved Celtics almost landed Boogie it’s the coup de grâce. I could write another 1000 words about how much I hate this move for basketball but I’ll leave it at this. The fact Boogie is taking $5.3 million for 1 year is going to set off a domino effect that will kill competition in the NBA. Imagine that in the next 3 years we get what every 10 year old dipshit playing 2K does in GM mode and puts the top 10 players all on one team. The Orlando Magic with Anthony Davis, Steph Curry, Kevin Durant, Boogie Cousins, Kyrie Irving, James Harden all on the same goddamn team. I’m the old man yelling at the clouds on this one as I’m sure the 15 year old SoundCloud rapper listening, Fortnite playing, NBA fans are already memeing about this and asking their parents for an advance on summer allowance to order a Boogie Cousins jersey.
I hate this gloating on social media, it’s a big circle jerking ego stroke. I hope they make it to the Finals and get beat in 7 swept by the Celtics. I’ll go on record to say that if they win the Finals next year I’ll dye my hair bleach blond. That’s a Nosebleed Takes guarantee!