A Woj bomb was dropped on the NBA world this morning as we have an early contender for biggest trade of the off season. Timothy Mozgov, who is almost famous for doing nothing and getting rewarded with a 4 year $64 million contract from the Lakers, is being shopped to Charlotte for Dwight Howard and two 2nd round draft picks. For the Nets this is like upgrading from a 2000 Pontiac Grand Prix to a 2004. It’s basically the same make and model except the 04 has an aux cord instead of a tape player, and it has a little less mileage on it. It’s an apples for apples trade, and it probably won’t move the needle much in either direction for the teams involved, or will it?
The great oracle Woj himself said this was a “cap relief” move by the Nets of Brooklyn, which can only mean one thing. Player 30 has finally entered the game of LeBron Hunt.
Now, most of you are thinking what can Brooklyn offer LeBron to entice him to play for them? Well, on the surface there isn’t a lot they can offer, because they suck. But, I have compiled 3 reasons why the Brooklyn Nets should be the favorite to win the LeBron 2018 Lottery.
1) Brooklyn has the better Wine selection
LeBron is a big wine drinker, and no I’m not talking your mom and her middle aged friends who meet for a “book group” drinking, he falls in the middle of that and Rick Ross butt luging Rose’ off some video vixens. A quick google search showed me that Cleveland only has 3 pages worth of wine bars/stores and Brooklyn has 7+ pages worth. The answer is in the wine grapes plain as day LeBron is going to Brooklyn!
2) LeBron will form a polygamist power couple with Jay-Z and Beyonce
I may be reaching a bit on this one but think about it. The biggest power couple in music, and a top 5 athlete form to combine seeds and eggs to form the GOAT of entertainment & current GOAT of basketball. If you think Blu Ivory and LeBron Jr stand a chance to compete with this future super child, think again! Could you imagine the future this kid would have? They’d be selling out Staples Center one night, then drop 60 points in it the next. This type of hybrid athlete/entertainer would be a LITE verison of Shaq’s acting career sprinkled with some Kevin Durant bars (seriously here’s the link he made a rap song.) MVP of the NBA and #1 on the Billboards, it’d unfair to let this happen. So how would we stop such a enigma? We can’t we have to fight fire with fire. MJ+Dolly Parton+Michael Jackson= solution. We get the offspring of these hybrids to fight in a Celebrity Deathmatch style fight and pray (and bet) that the good guys win. Okay, I got a little off topic there back to reality, LeBron is not going to the Brooklyn Nets.
I am not a big fan of LeBron the player at all, for the longest time I thought he was one of the most overrated players in the league. But something happened this past NBA playoffs, something I didn’t think would happen in my lifetime. I gained a newfound respect for LeBron. This guy played 82/82 games this year, carried his JV squad to the NBA Finals, and has managed to stay healthy his whole career. Now, that may be due to him dedicating his Sprite endorsement money to take care of his body, if I had that type of money to care for my body I’d look like a Greek God. But, I don’t so until I decide to hit the gym again it’s dad bod and getting out of breath from walking up a flight of stairs for me. Anyways, LeBron can hang it up at this point he has nothing left to prove. He’s made it to multiple finals, won countless awards, and LeBron has proven himself to be the GOAT….of this generation. He has nothing left to prove, he hasn’t seen a sharp decline in his game yet, and has somehow managed avoid the dreaded injury bug his whole career. That in itself would be enough for me to call it a wrap on my playing days. If he decides to keep playing though I’d be avoiding dunks and exclusively shoot 3 pointers, and play zero defense aka James Harden ball. But seriously, LeBron should retire on top and not let his star fade out and overstay his welcome much like Kobe did his last few years in the league. Because pretty soon KD, KAT, Greek Freak, and Lonzo Ball are going to steal his torch and carry it to new levels.
So pour out a 40oz of Cobra and call it a career LeBron you had a great run, but take the Barry Sanders route and leave the fans wondering “What if” and not watching a shell of your former self slowly dribble down the court and get stuffed by the rim in a few years.