Who Dey? Dey Losers that’s who.

Look I didn’t expect the Bengals to win the Super Bowl this year, or the AFC North, or even a fucking wild card. But what has transpired this season is flashes of greatness marred with awful play calling and one of the worst offensive lines in all of football. This is a team that was up 21-7 at halftime against the Green Bay Packers and proceeded to then score only 3 points the rest of the game on their way to an overtime loss. Again flashes of greatness in the first half proceeded by absolute shit play.

Fast forward a week later they curb stomp the Browns to avoid being the worst NFL team in Ohio and then beat the Bills 20-16 and give fans hope that after a 0-3 start they may have found their footing with the new offensive coordinator. Boy that lasted all of seven days before they literally had the football equivalent of Mayweather vs McGregor with the Steelers.  And Bengals are back at square 1 sitting at 2-4 with no hope for a playoff birth, but who knows “Stranger Things” have happened (Hot Take I don’t watch Stranger Things on Netflix and have no desire to.) Anywhoo, a mediocre win against the Colts where Carlos Dunlap saved the fans an embarrassing loss with a pick-six had again given the fans hope they can gain some momentum and turn it around.

Alas it wasn’t meant to be, Marvin Lewis gives a post game speech had about as much intensity as a funeral eulogy. And maybe it was a pre-funeral eulogy for this week against the Jaguars of Jacksonville. Now here is a team who benched their star running back for missing team pictures which handicapped the Jags pretty significantly. Seems like a slam dunk for the Bengals to let Blake Bortles throw and expose the weakest part of the Jags offense……WRONG!!!! Mr. Bortles throws for 259 yards and 1 TD. The Bengals secondary seemed content letting Bortles shoot his shot as he only missed 14 of his 38 attempts passing and decided no Fournette no problem as they let Chris Ivory run all over them but somehow managed to only give up 70 yards to him. We shouldn’t give the Bengals defense all the blame they are actually the saving grace of this team but seem to give up when the offense doesn’t reward their hard work with points.

Which brings me to the Bengals offense which itself needs a whole paragraph to carefully breakdown just how fucking awful they are. With AJ Green, Gio Bernard, Tyler Kroft and Joe Mixon as options for Andy “Roadhouse” Dalton to throw to, the sidelines seems to be his favorite target this season. With an offensive line that has been non existent all year we can only blame the Red Rocket to a degree. With all the weapons on offense the Bengals have they should be contending for the AFC North every year, not be content with 3rd place every year.

The culture in the jungle though seems to be that mediocrity is acceptable which Marvin Lewis is to blame 100000000000% here. He lacks the leadership to take this team past the first round of the playoffs and can’t seem to control some of the more “emotional” personalities on the field. Seeing the names who have come out from under Marvin Lewis (uuuuuhhhh phrasing?) such as Mike Zimmer, Jay Gruden, and Hue Jackson it’s mind boggling why they let these guys walk away and decide to keep Lewis around. Jackson made Dalton look like an MVP with his offense, Zimmer is a great coach who is no nonsense and would’ve been the backbone the team needed to finally overcome that mental hurdle they seem to fall over every year. Right now there are not a lot of coaches available to take over for the Bengals but they need to do fire Lewis before it is too late and they lose stars like AJ Green. Green is obviously frustrated with the offensive scheme and it showed when he was ejected Sunday. But if the Bengals want to be nothing more than a punchline like their Cleveland counterparts I’ll look elsewhere for a team to root for…..


…….Philadelphia Eagles sup’?



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